“If you could relive one part of your life, which part would you choose, and why?”
This was one of the questions that stumped me and made me pick a Dare at our recent girls night out. (yes, we were really playing Truth or Dare.) I just didn’t want to think that hard. So instead I found myself yodelling, which unfortunately ended up as a video clip on Jenifer’s phone. I think I may have just figured out which part I’d want to relive.
What did I have to lose in taking this dare? My pride, my reputation — for what it’s worth. Not much to lose there. Of course I care what people think of me (more than I’d like to admit). But in a group where you feel known and safe, a dare is no more risky than a truth.
The beauty I celebrate in this moment is that I have a group of friends like that. Women with whom I can be completely authentic. It’s a come-as-you-are kind of group, and even if I sing “We Are the Champions,” badly and loudly, they still love me. I’ve tested them over the years with whatever I’m facing at the moment — doubt, hard questions, unforgiveness, judgement, animosity towards The Church, despair over my kids when they reject my values — a lot of outside-the-box thoughts. This group just keeps on loving. I’m so thankful I have a place to speak the truth, especially when life gets messy.
Best of all, they belong to my church. Having women friends who share a faith and who value being stretched and what I like to call “becoming” is an incredible gift. The level of honesty we have speaks volumes about the level of intimacy we share. I think that’s all too rare in organized church settings. We feel less free, not more, to speak our truths. That’s a sad commentary. Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” Looking inward and speaking out of that truth is an important part of our spiritual journey. Frequently it leads us straight to God.
I have a trusted counselor who told me one day, “Most people don’t really want to know the truth. They want to have their opinions and beliefs validated.” I get it. Seeing the truth requires us to let go of our illusions, about ourselves and about others. But it’s also freeing, and can be an opportunity to “become,” as God leads us into something new.
Which would you pick? Truth or Dare? Are you satisfied with the level of intimacy you have in your relationships? Would you be willing to risk a deeper level of truth with those you trust? It’s worth it. I dare you!